We all get scared of the dark sometimes. We won’t admit it. We will not be okay with giving in. We will scrunch ourselves into little balls on little beds, and cry for morning to come. We think if we admit defeat that it means we are less than, and you are far better. More than us. Bigger. Faster. Stronger.
We fear that monster under the bed, yet want it to come out and play, fully knowing how beautiful it really is. We tell ourselves that playing is silly and a game of children, as we skip inside our hearts. We secretly wonder how that beauty would feel in our hands and want to ask it to settle into our hearts, but something inside us stops the process. We freeze. We retreat. We push.
We rush into love, yet somehow, kicking and screaming simultaneously, create confusion. We mean to cover each other with the unconditional love of angels, but end up not seeing what is already sitting nearby. Please love me. Go away.
Loving someone hard is like a bee sting. You have no idea when it hits you; are unaware until the pain starts. So intense at first, then lessens as your skin still recalls where it has been. There is always that beet red spot where it began that seems to have permanence, and sometimes has a stinger lodged deep inside.
The stinger is there to remind us to be careful, yet many of us focus too much on that pain or on nothing else, and forget the beauty and importance of the bee. The world could not function without them.
Without this tiny being, nothing could start. They enable a little pinprick process that ends up with the oceans and atmospheres. Just like love grows us inside, the bees pollinate the flowers. They have no idea what they are doing, yet they go on, just as we do. Each and every time, we pick ourselves back up and try again. To love again. Feel again. Trust again. Or at least try.
There are times when we fail. We fail at the thing we want most. We push away what we hold dear to us because we fear the end of it, in turn, causing that end. This circle laughs at us as we hold sway over our emotions that have no mercy, and we let go, no, throw away love being offered because of fear.
That dark is always near. Always present. What we need to understand is that we must step through it in order to come to the light on the other side. The place where we find our courage lies there for there is no need for bravery until it is night.