Monday, August 27, 2012

Navigate



But in order to make you understand,
to give you my life, I must tell you a story.
                                                                                         Virginia Woolf


We all have a story. Some are sad. Some are happy. Most are bittersweet. With this, we all possess the very human need to tell them. Like a balloon, the pressure is alleviated when released. Story is heart and nourishment. Before television and cell phones, man sat around fires telling stories. And, stories spread.
Quickly.

Stories are how humans kept navigation by the stars alive; they became a part of the BIG answer when we lost our way. We have the need to feel a part of something, and when we don't we feel afraid. When we cannot figure out where we fit in, we scramble, we kick, we scream. We all crave the hero, long to be courageous and need to know our role in relation to the world. Our story is how we experience the present; it makes or breaks us.

Macbeth ponders whether life is a tale "told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing." And, we all have those moments of  fury. What am I doing here? Who am I? Why is this happening? What do I do? Where do I go? How do I do this? Followed by the sound of either our own hearts breaking, or more disturbingly... nothing at all. That silence, that still click in the air when everything seems to hover above the ground before it falls. Then, we run. We think getting away from the darkness that keeps us in bondage is the answer when it only makes it worse. When we are not brave and unable to walk into our (many times) self-made fires, we give them fuel as they continue to pursue us. The goal is to devour; to hide every essence of the divine within us. This is when we look up. 

Even people without a declared faith tilt their heads up when facing trouble. We reach our hands out wanting someone to sweep down and rescue our heavy, prickly hearts. I think what I forget so often is that god is always within us to give us the resolved determination we need to make it through; our own inner GPS. Darkness wants us to forget about our light, without which we feel helpless. In that fear we just want to lay down and sleep; quit. Stillness. One less warrior.

When it all comes down to it, everyone becomes known by their true name. Your sin will always find you, always come back to you. It may take time, but that boomerang comes back. Every. Single. Time. Now, don't let this scare you. Let it develop you steadfast. Make your stance. Do not falter to tell your story for if it sets a wildfire, it will spread. Do not fall down at the mere thought of defeat. Show defeat what you are made of. You are made of God.