Wednesday, November 28, 2012


“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” 
~ Anais Nin ~

I did something yesterday that I had never done before. I saw the red flags about something and stopped my involvement. Usually, I would ignore the strong intuitions I had about the situation, keep moving along and eventually get hurt all the while knowing that "I should have known better." What was it that finally made me do the right thing?

A smart man I knew once said that you have to be afraid of something to be brave. He was right. You do not have to gather courage about something that does not scare you. No one wants to be alone. Really. Many times we will settle for less out of the sheer thought of being by ourselves in a terminal way. Whether it is a job, a significant other or a place of residence if we do not let go of what we think is all we can get (therefore holding on for dear life) then we cannot open our arms to the wealth of existence that life in harmony can bring. This does not apply only to tangible things, but to ways of thinking, feeling and acting. So many times, we get stuck in believing things that do not serve us anymore or acting in ways that are self-destructive. At one time in my life, I was so fixed on negative ways of thought that positive thoughts repulsed me. I realized, however, that it was fear that fastened me to misery. Somehow I knew I was wrong, and in changing I would be admitting this. I would have to accept that I was wrong; alter how I viewed the world. As I adapted to this new reality my life became easier- I found joy!

When we get healthy emotionally, we realize that being alone is better than settling for things not good for us, or even just things not of our preference. We are willing to be brave; courageous in the land of the unknown. This realization is so freeing. It grounds us in a way nothing else could. It seals our fate in a way that will bring what we do want into our lives. Now, I'm just waiting....

Sunday, November 25, 2012


“At the temple there is a poem called "Loss" carved into the stone. 
It has three words, but the poet has scratched them out. 
You cannot read loss, only feel it.” 
                                                                  Arthur Golden, Memoirs of a Geisha

We are all a little broken. Some of us more than others. You may be fragmented in a polished marble kind of way; all shiny with nothing but surface, or you may be torn like tissue paper wadded up and discarded at Christmas; someone enthusiastically pulled you out, but forgot to put you back together.

Seeds do not grow in light. Seeds need darkness; the darkness to push out all their attributes. The space that the darkness creates is needed for the seed to become its destiny. We become taller by being pushed down. We gain sight from being blinded. We are able to run because we once limped. Just as the seed only grows once it is planted deep into the ground, do we become stable only from having been in flight.

A light in hand will not always assure you safety from treacherous rocks, but the light does let you know that you are not alone. Every heartbreak. Every loss. Every hurt. Every regret are all accompanied by wisdom when we are finally able to climb out of the prisons we create for ourselves. For without us, our problems would have no fuel. Our fights would have no fury. Our losses would have no sting. It takes us to give our struggles meaning. As a painting needs its creator to find substance, shape and form as our tears cannot be seen without a mirror, only felt. If we choose to sit and wallow in it, then that is where we will stay. We choose how we want to reflect ourselves. It is our job to take what tragedy has wrought and pass it on to others. The point of this is not to take their pain away, but to guide them through it. Be their comfort, as the light was once yours. You can be someone else's light.